Honoring Grandma

My grandmother passed away earlier this year. In fact, she died two weeks before my wedding. It was a very harsh reality to face that she wasn't going to see me walk down the isle. The whole time period is a bit of a blur. After I got back from seeing her in Colorado, I had finals at school, and a bunch of last minute wedding preparations. I did not have time to grieve.

My brother, me, and our grandparents... 1985-ish.

All of this caught up with me after the wedding. I ended up having a melt down and decided to take the summer off to process and heal. Today is the last day of my summer vacation, or The Summer of Sheay as me and my husband have been calling it. Coincidentally, my family also decided to do a memorial service for my grandmother this weekend. I wasn't able to travel to Colorado for it so I decided to honor her in my own way.

For me this meant I needed to do two things. First, crochet something. My grandparents lived in a isolated mountain home that my grandfather built. We spent many summers up there enjoying the silence and seclusion. Some of my favorite things were listening to my grandma talk about astrology (a.k.a. her telling me how stubborn I was and me thinking "So, what's wrong with that!") and learning to crochet. I started learning when I was about five. I'll never forget sitting there for hours fumbling around with the hook and yarn. Then taking my little swatch to my grandma for her approval. "Too tight!" she'd say... then rip it all out. "Try again." Back I would go. Brilliant way to keep a kid entertained. Second, was to make something with rhubarb. My grandmother had a huge rhubarb plant that grew by their house. Anything rhubarb instantly reminds me of her. It was the one thing I think she really enjoyed cooking with. She was a bit of a reluctant domestic :)

Yesterday, I finished a crochet project in her honor. It's going to be a Christmas gift so I can't post any photos of it yet. I also made a Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp. While I was crocheting on our patio some wondering airplanes from the Chicago Air & Water Show flew overhead. My grandfather, who passed away about two years ago, was a lover of flying. He was obsessed with it from the time he was a boy. It was such an amazing and honoring moment. I felt like both of them were there with me.

After my summer off can I say that I've processed and healed? Well, I'm not really sure. I've cried, relaxed, laughed, quilted,  done lots of yoga, and I've honored my grandparents. I've also started this blog and a facebook page to share my creative side. Although emotions still come up every once in a while, overall I feel rejuvenated and ready to start the next semester of my life.